Fear of Relaxing: Do You Deserve to Relax?

Do you deserve to relax? This is a no-brainer question for many and challenging for some. Do you shift uncomfortably at the thought of relaxing? Perhaps you're like my friend's mom. Years ago, I attended a dinner hosted by a friend’s family. My friend’s mother had put a lot of effort into creating our meal. After dinner, she refused my offer of help to clean up. She insisted that I socialize in the living room with the others. After she had finished tidying up and joined us, she sighed with fatigue as her tired body slumped onto the couch. It was hard for me to understand why she refused an offer of help.

Every behaviour has a reason.

A tenet of counselling is that every behaviour has a reason. Do you believe that it is your responsibility to take care of everyone else? Do you think you must put others’ needs ahead of your own to be a good person?

Our beliefs have consequences.

How does it make you feel when you don't let yourself relax? Do you start resenting others who have no difficulty taking a break? Are your putting aside your goals because you’re too busy attending to others? Is being hard on yourself easier for you than being kind to yourself? It’s time to address that!

Relaxation is a form of self-compassion.

Consider how some relaxation could help your physical health. Self-compassion has health benefits. Being nice to yourself boosts your immune system and promotes healing.

Caring for yourself is necessary before you can care for others.

Flight attendants’ have a safety announcement at the start of each flight. They explain that you must place the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others. This is a great analogy for the importance of self-care. If you’re not taking care of yourself, it will be harder for you to care for others!

Be your own best friend.

Do you support yourself as much as you would a close friend? Showing empathy to yourself validates your feelings. Being your own best friend means allowing yourself to relax once in a while.

Do you deserve to relax?

Of course you do! If you’re not taking care of yourself, who will?