Image by Mladen Zivkovic (iStock)
Fear of Asking for Help: Not Wanting to Impose
When I was a kid, I hesitated to ask someone for help because I thought that I would be imposing upon them. Fortunately, as an adult, I’ve recovered from this thinking. I’ve decided that it’s okay to ask for help and have observed that people like to help.
I’m a small person, standing at 4’11” (but I’m a big person inside!). When I go to the grocery store, I have trouble reaching items on the top shelves. I don’t hesitate to locate a fellow customer that is taller than me (that’s not difficult) to ask them for help to reach an item. A beautiful moment transpires when this happens: the stranger’s eyes light up, they often go above and beyond my request (sometimes checking expiry dates for me), and after I’ve given them my sincere thanks, they walk away with a bounce in their step. The interaction has built a brief but satisfying connection between us and has elevated both of our shopping experiences.
Asking for help creates an opportunity for connection.
When we ask for help, the benefits are doubled. You get the help you need and you’ve made someone else feel good because they know they’ve helped someone. Me asking for help at the store is a simple act. Asking for help can go much deeper than that.
Sometimes asking for help also means you are helping yourself. – Renuka Pitre
During these pandemic times, so many of us are struggling. Asking for help to have someone to talk to can provide significant support during these difficult times.
Are you afraid to ask for help?
There are other reasons why we may find it hard to ask for help. Are you afraid to ask for help because you think you’re not supposed to need anyone else’s help? I’ll write about this in my next post.
P.S.: Subscribe to the faceyourfears blog if you’d like it delivered to your inbox! That would help me a lot. 😉
Image by Suwaree Tangbovornpichet (iStock)
DJ MacKinnon
Posted at 08:37h, 08 Juneso true
when I’d offer help to women who were obviously struggling with children, strollers, and groceries they almost always rejected the offer. I’d say to them – I’m sure you’ve got it down to a fine-art but it’s always nice to have another hand around and they’d usually agree to let me help them. Something in our culture about fear of looking weak or maybe fear of feeling obligated to reciprocate. In either case it is unhealthy IMHO for cooperative community building
Mona Benjamintz
Posted at 10:45h, 08 JuneYou bring up a great point about times when people refuse an offer of help. I used to be one of those people. Then I learned that when I accept the offer, a beautiful spirit of cooperation and community is cultivated, just like you said.